seems i've been tagged..

Seems DrFran has 'tagged' me so I guess I need to at least respond to this tagging of sorts. So, here are five things you don't know about me:

1. I'm not so fond of being tagged.
2. I'm not so fond of telling people things they don't already know about me. If you don't know it already, there's a reason.
3. Sometimes when I sing my mouth fills up with saliva and it's really hard to sing and not drool everywhere. No idea.
4. When I was younger, my Dad had a bird feeder outside our window and one winter my sister and I decided it would be fun to try and get the birds to eat out of our hands. So, we stood in the snow for a LONG time, but finally little birds came and ate birdseed right out of our hands. I got all excited about it and was actually lifting them up and down in my hands. It was great fun until like, a blazillion of them came in and started landing on my head and on my arms/shoulders. Then I kinda freaked.
5. I've never smoked a cigarette or done any other drugs. I do, however, greatly enjoy the IV morphine they give you in the hospital after you've had a c-section.

I reserve the right to not 'tag' anyone else to do this. Mostly because the one person was going to 'tag', was claimed by someone else that DrFran tagged. /tag.

ew, gross

Several months ago, I was asked to design and build an area in Second Life. I didn't actively promote myself as a builder. I didn't advertise that I was looking for work. People saw what I'd done, told me they wanted me to do the job because of what they'd seen, and there it was.

I hesitated a bit just because I'd only built for myself until that point and wasn't sure how to build for someone else, but I was given a lot of freedom to really do my 'own' thing and designed an area with several buildings that had a great 'feel' to it. I was paid for the work and was told it was perfect and they loved it.

When I visited this spot in Second Life a few days ago, I almost threw up. The work I'd done there has been modified/changed and righteously screwed the hell up.

I honestly wish that they'd just taken down everything I'd done and had started over, because seeing half of my work mixed with half of this putrid nonsense is really hard to deal with. Not to mention the fact that people are still able to see that I was the creator and if they don't look beyond the initial building and see that the rest of it was done by someone else, it really doesn't make me look great as a designer, builder, or artist.

It's not even that they left a few of my buildings and then added some of their own -that would be bad enough, but to see the buildings I created with huge holes in them, and new textures, and tacky-ass, stupid, trashy, (sorry) SHIT all around them, is a freaking nightmare.

When I was doing the building, the thought that someone might modify/change/replace what I'd put there didn't even cross my mind. I guess to me it was more than just some prims with some texture on them. It was truly a creation, a work of art... and I feel like I've been vandalized or assaulted.

I wonder how Da Vinci would have felt if he'd done the Mona Lisa, sold it, and the new owner decided she'd look better as a blonde.

*hands Joel Stein a penis*...

some people get it.. some people don't.

no doubt about it, there's a lot of Second Life "buzz" out there causing a lot of people to check it out. it seems, however, that a lot of people just don't 'get it'. I really do think that perhaps you have to be a certain kind of person to really understand the magnitude of something like Second Life.

Yes it's a CPU hog, yes it takes a pretty decent graphics card, and yes you need a broadband connection to make it work. BUT.. #@$@# .. the opportunities it presents are worth those things.

Joel Stein recently ventured into Second Life and has given us this gem of an article about it.

Joel (ima call him Joel since I feel so close to him after this article) tried to end his write-up on a 'sweet' note, but I'm still left with an unpleasant taste in my mouth. I don't think you needed to drop $5 for a really sweet penis Joel. Seems you've got the whole 'dick' thing going for you already.

i'd like to thank the academy..

Time magazine has voted me their 'Person of the Year' for 2006, and i'd just like to take this moment to say 'thanks', and to thank everyone that made this possible.

Thank you to Time for this honor. It's an honor I could never have dreamed of receiving. All of those countless hours on IRC, the time spent developing my website, the numerous blog entries.. I just had no idea it would pay off like this.

Thank you also to Second Life for providing us with the opportunity to take 'online communities' to the next level. You guys take a lot of shit, sometimes deservedly, but I have to say that in general.. you rock my world. So, thank you to Linden Labs.

Thank you, also, to all of the friends I've met in online communities over the last 12 years. There are far too many to mention them all, but of particular importance are my husband Reginald Golding and my best friend Grace McDunnough. Thank you for all your support and for constantly putting up with my shit.

Thank you to all of my fans. Without you, none of this would have been possible. *sob*

Ok seriously.. Time magazine has said that "you" are the Time Magazine's "Person of the Year" - "you" being everyone involved in the 'information age". So, congratulations everyone. Give yourself a pat on the back for me, and buy yourself somethin special to celebrate. Maybe a new laptop.

feel it

While I recognize the necessity for a basis of observed reality... true art lies in a reality that is felt. Odilon Redon

This quote just about wraps it up for me. I'm all about 'feeling' art. If it doesn't make you feel anything then there's no point to it in my opinion. I think this is why I enjoy Second Life as much as I do. I get immediate gratification for something I build, or photograph, or perform, or write. I can immediately see, hear, and even feel how others are reacting to something I've done. It sounds almost selfish typed out that way, but that's not how it's intended.

Some artists seem to be into art just for the 'shock' value that comes from presenting a work they've done, and although that's not what I'm about, still.. in some way, they're making people 'feel', and I can respect that. I can certainly respect that much more than someone that creates art that just sits there being bland.

I think that's one of my biggest fears. Making something that 'just sits there' and doesn't make anyone feel anything. Hopefully, keeping myself involved in creative processes will lessen the possibility of that happening. If I keep building, keep creating, keep singing, keep writing.. chances are good that out of all of those things, something will hit home for someone.

the virtual 'fridge'

I got myself a new 'artist' version of magnetic poetry. I love that stuff. The very first magnetic poetry set I bought was in NYC at the Natural History museum. I was so excited to see some, that I grabbed in without really looking at it. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I'd purchased the "Endangered Species" version.

So, a little while later I picked up the "love" version, and then the 'normal' version. As you can imagine, we have some interesting poetry on the fridge these days.

So, now I have the artist version. Here's today's poem:

I will scream softly at wasted water

for absurd pictures form when paint shimmers dry

I see music in life

that can only appear through this canvas.

diamonds in the sky

To express hope by some star, the eagerness of a soul by a sunset radiance. Certainly there is nothing in that of stereoscopic realism, but is it not something that actually exists?

(Vincent Van Gogh)

Working in, and spending a lot of time in the virtual world makes you begin to question things. The virtual consists of things that can't be physically touched - I mean - yes I can touch my computer, and the monitor and the mouse to create this world, but when I'm inside the world I cannot touch and physically feel with my hands the coldness of the pond I've made, or the bricks on the wall I've built. I can't taste the coffee my avatar is drinking, I don't get drunk if Micala has a few too many sips of her virtual merlot or chardonnay.

And yet, in the evenings, when I'm sitting on the dock by the pond, watching that virtual sun set on the grid, I DO feel peaceful, I do feel relaxed. I do have a sort of serenity that washes over me from experiencing what may not be 'real'.

Maybe it's back to the whole 'if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound' way of thinking. Maybe all art is about that, in its essence. If I paint an amazingly fantabulous picture, and yet it never makes anyone 'feel'.. what's the point. Does it exist at all?

The work I do in Second Life is more than just making a picture, or taking a photo or 'building' something with rudimentary tools. It's about creating an atmosphere, a space, that makes people *feel* a certain way.

Maybe the virtual is a space where things actually can be physically felt... just not by your hands.

blown away

if you've read any of my blog, you know that i'm starting grad school next month. i am so incredibly excited about this opportunity that it's almost difficult for me to put it into words. i graduated from college in 1990, but even when I was going to college then, i was never really 'passionate' about what i was doing. i did it because 'eh' it was ok, and i felt like i needed to get a degree in something, so i did.

so, now that i'm actually in a position to pursue something that moves me, something that makes me 'feel', something i can honestly and truly be passionate about, it's.. well. pretty freaking cool, that's what.

anyway, i'll be in the MFA program in new media here at penn state, and my focus is virtual worlds and specifically second life. it's an exciting field and an exciting medium, but i'm already finding some challenges.

in meeting some of the other graduate students on monday, i found myself challenged by how to 'explain' what i do. if you're a painter, or a sculptor, or someone working with ceramics, you're in a very 'tactile' environment and you can touch, and feel and even smell your art. in the virtual world, however, none of these things really 'exist' and so explaining this is a bit challenging.

now that i'm beginning to think about my art in a different way, and how i might best represent my art in a gallery show, for instance, i'm running a million different ideas, expressions and viewpoints through my mind at any given time. my head's starting to hurt a bit from this, but in all pain comes.... somethin. i dunno what. a good idea, maybe.

so one of my original ideas was to create 'immersive' art inside this already, truly, 'immersive' world. so, for instance, if you like the water lily painting by Monet, maybe you can actually walk *through* this painting and find yourself inside the actual landscape there, with water and flowers and even sounds surrounding you. you're experiencing the art in ways you never could have in the 'real' world.

now, add to this that i'm also really into music and performing. music is a big part of who i am and it's important to me. so then i started thinking of ways to include that as well in my art. i thought that perhaps it would be cool to choose songs, or music that inspires me and then create a work of immersive art based on that music.

the one song really hitting home with me right now is a song by Missy Higgins called "They Weren't There". Here are some lyrics:

But they weren't there beneath your stare,
and they weren't stripped 'till they were bare
of any bindings from the world outside that room.
And they weren't taken by the hand and led through fields
of naked land where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away...
so I couldn't say "no".

in thinking about the virtual, this song brings a lot of my thoughts into focus. In the virtual world, you're not bound at all by what's in reality, and perhaps much of what a person might see, or do, or experience inside the virtual would 'blow away' any pre-conceived ideas they might have.

today as i was googling for artist quotes, i ran across this quote and was struck by how much it reminded me of the missy higgins lyrics and what i was already thinking:

We can transform reality to the extent that we influence what happens in consciousness and thus free ourselves from the threats and blandishments of the outside world.(Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi)

the virtual really is a place where these things can happen. i'm starting to think that what we need to do is bring more virtual into our current reality.

survey SAYS.....

I've been reading some posts/articles about the USC/Annenberg Digital Futures project today and although it's nothing that i think i didn't already know, i think it's the first thing i've read that has made me think 'see, i *knew* it!'.

In a nutshell, the study basically says that online communities and online communication are the bomb and anyone who's anyone knows it. (My spin, of course).

You really should take some time to read some highlights from the study but in case you don't get a chance, here are some of the big things (in my mind):

* "Participation in online communities leads to social activism. Almost two thirds of online community members who participate in social causes through the Internet (64.9 percent)say they are involved in causes that were new to them when they began participating on the Internet.And more than 40 percent (43.7 percent) of online community members participate more in social activism since they started participating in online communities.

~*~I think we've seen this play out time and again in Second Life. Whether it's the ACS "Relay for Life" or a Habitat for Humanity benefit, Alzheimer's Association benefit, or the Breast Cancer Awareness Benefit that I held in Second Life, people are socially aware, and active in these causes. People are willing to donate their time, talent, and funds in ways I've never witnessed before. I had to turn people away from performing at my benefit because there simply wasn't enough time. People involved in online communities *care*.~*~

* Internet users are finding growing numbers of online friends, as well as friends they first met online and then met in person. Internet users report having met an average of 4.65 friends online whom they have never met in person. Internet users report an average of 1.6 friends met in person whom they originally met online -- more than double the number when the Digital Future Project began in 2000.

~*~I cannot tell you how many friends I have that I met intially in an online community of some sort. My best friends were met in this way.~*~

* Responding to a question last asked in 2002, 42.8 percent of Internet users agree that going online has increased the number of people they regularly stay in contact with -- marginally less than the 46.6 percent who voiced the same response four years ago.

~*~I also find this to be the case. I'm not sure why, exactly and if you have any input on that let me know, but it's true. Maybe it's because being online and meeting people and learning the value of belonging to a community or a group affects all of our personal interactions and makes us just a bit more aware of how important communication truly is.~*~

* For the first time the percentage of women going online was higher than the number of men.

~*~It's about damn time - I'm sure all the men are thrilled. I guess this increases the chances that any females you meet online are actually women!.~*~

There are a bunch of other cool things, but these were important to me.


I had been thinking about this actually, before I read this study because of some readings I had to do for my art class this semester. The readings had to do with technology and our personal identities and they talked about how iPods, laptops, etc are forcing people into their own 'little worlds' and are keeping them from interacting with others and in essence 'shutting themselves off' from their surroundings. In thinking about this, although of course technology is an ever-evolving thing, and forces us to perhaps see things with different perspectives on a daily basis (at least I hope it does), this doesn't necessarily mean that we're turning into technozombies who don't care about anything outside our 'happy place'.

Maybe all we needed all along was to have some 'time' with our iPod or our laptop, alone, with only our thoughts to be able to see more clearly what's going on around us and become more active participants in what some of us call "the real world".

it's gettin' hot in here...

It's not, actually. It's QUITE chilly indeed at Mill Pond right now. We've transformed the whole sim into a veritable winter wonderland of magic for the holiday season and it's shaping up to be a very enjoyable time.



We've got ice skating, an igloo, a gingerbread house, snowpeople, sleds, blizzard machines.. you name it. It's a blast. I've uploaded some photos to flickr so check those out.

My best friend Grace recently posted about the NBC tree lighting event in Second Life and I'm going to have to agree with her on her post. I must say that when I arrived in the NBC 17 sim, I was really impressed with how realistic it was. The texture work was really very good and they captured the 'feel' of the area fairly well. There were free gifts around in cute boxes under the trees (scarves, hats, mittens) and they had the ice skating rink just like Rockefeller Center does. It was all very 'pretty', but it was lacking.

What was lacking? The energy and excitement that you'd feel at the real event. It was very mundane, and dull. You could walk around or ice skate, but that was it. No shopping, no doing anything else really except chatting with folks who were as bored as you were waiting for it to happen. And truly, when the tree was lit? I was awfully 'eh' about it. Plus as Grace mentioned, we were being shot into the air by a griefer that was apparently even more bored than we were.

Yes, it was realistic as far as the textures and 'feel' of the area.. but where was the love? Where was the excitement and energy? Where were the crowds of people huddled close together to keep warm. Where were the puffs of icy breath from people's mouths as they stood waiting for that magical moment when the huge tree would come to life? It wasn't there.

I think that some events translate beautifully into this world, but after attending the tree lighting event.. I also think that some are better left in the 'real' world.